On Cookie Jokes and True Friendship
Last night, as we were sitting around the dinner table, one of our daughters began telling a joke about a certain cookie who goes to the doctor. Now, if you know this joke, you know that the cookie goes to the doctor because he is feeling crumby. Bada bing. But my daughter told quite a different version, saying that the cookie went to the doctor because he had disobeyed God. Cue laughter. Then my oldest daughter told the joke, saying the cookie went to the doctor because he was feeling crunchy. Then the cookie went to the florist…and back and forth my girls went, taking turns telling the cookie joke with various versions and various punchlines. They laughed, and we laughed…because frankly, some of their versions were pretty hilarious. And it all ended with my husband and me finally saying, “ Ok, girls. Enough! Now, eat your green beans.”
Now, this blog post has nothing to do with joke-telling or cookies going to the doctor. So don’t stop reading yet. No…this blog post is about friendship. True friendship. Because as I sat there, listening to my girls laughing at themselves and each other, I remembered that they had learned this joke, as well as its numerous versions, from their cousins. My sister’s girls live on the other side of the world. But over Skype one day, my nieces told my daughters this joke and retold it in different ways, thinking every version was more funny than the last. And my daughters agreed. These girls experienced something together, and they laughed together. And then a few days later, we’re sitting around the table, hearing our daughters tell the joke as their cousins had taught them, adding their own punchlines (aka the cookie disobeyed God) but reliving an experience they had shared with their best friends. Yes, it was through a computer screen, but these girls - my girls and my sister’s girls - had experienced life together. And they do experience life together, even though they haven’t lived in the same place for almost three years.
There are so many reasons why I am thankful for my sister. But one of those reasons is that, even from far away, she, along with her husband and three girls, have pursued and loved us well. They want to experience life with us, even though we live on opposite sides of the world. And they work to make that happen. They initiate Skype calls with us, they send us letters and packages, they seek to know my children and be known by them, they ask us questions about our life over here and tell us about their lives over there. They give up their family vacation so that my sister and niece could visit us and encourage our hearts and bring us great joy through their presence. I cannot tell you how greatly the Lord has used this family in our lives. They have been more than a sister and brother, more than an aunt and uncle and cousins to my kiddos. They are true friends.
Sometimes, when you live overseas, it is easy to feel forgotten. You feel like the child in the back of the class, waving your hand around like a crazy person, hoping to be noticed. You feel needy, painfully so. You send out emails to 300 people and hear back from 10. You initiate Skype calls and send text messages, and sometimes you wonder if you’re that guy who keeps calling the girl who really doesn’t want to be called. You wonder who your friends are, you wonder if anyone cares or remembers you, you post on Facebook to remind the world that you’re still here so please don’t forget me! There are weeks of contentment, praise God. But there are days of overwhelming loneliness. And in circumstances like ours, in which there are no other like-minded women for me to talk to except those who live on the other side of the world, those days can be hard and the despair of loneliness becomes very real and very near.
But then a friend will send me a text message, out-of-the-blue, wondering how I’m doing. And another friend will email us with a story or an update or a reminder that they’re praying for us. And my sister and brother-in-law will call with their girls, and our families will laugh and talk about nothing and everything. And I am reminded, by the sweetness of the Lord, that we are indeed not forgotten.
Yes…by some friends and family members, we are a distant memory, thought of only on rare occasions. And yes…we are largely forgotten by the masses of previous association, and in many cases, the old phrase “out of sight, out of mind” rings loud and true.
But that’s ok. We are not forgotten by all. And we praise God for these dear ones the Lord has placed in our lives. These are the people who are our true family, our true friends. Those who have pursued us and loved us and prayed for us and who desire to share life with us…these are the people who help us do what we do, who uplift our hearts and help us persevere, who encourage and challenge us and allow us to encourage and challenge them. These are the people who are used by God to satisfy the lonely places of our hearts, and these are the people who point us to Christ, the only One who can truly and fully satisfy.
Long-distance relationships are difficult. They require effort and sacrifice. But we are so thankful for those who have considered our family worth all the challenges and inconvenience. We are thankful to have dear friends and family who pursue us and love us, even from afar.
Our girls miss their cousins because they know their cousins. These four girls are best friends. And when we return home in a year, they will play happily together as if they had never been apart. Because in a way, they never have been. I feel the same way about all of you who have considered our friendship worth fighting for. I am so thankful that we continue to walk through this life together and share experiences of tears and laughter and hope. When we see each other again, it will be as if we had never been apart.
And that is a gift.
So thank you, friends. You know who you are. And I love you dearly.
Now, this blog post has nothing to do with joke-telling or cookies going to the doctor. So don’t stop reading yet. No…this blog post is about friendship. True friendship. Because as I sat there, listening to my girls laughing at themselves and each other, I remembered that they had learned this joke, as well as its numerous versions, from their cousins. My sister’s girls live on the other side of the world. But over Skype one day, my nieces told my daughters this joke and retold it in different ways, thinking every version was more funny than the last. And my daughters agreed. These girls experienced something together, and they laughed together. And then a few days later, we’re sitting around the table, hearing our daughters tell the joke as their cousins had taught them, adding their own punchlines (aka the cookie disobeyed God) but reliving an experience they had shared with their best friends. Yes, it was through a computer screen, but these girls - my girls and my sister’s girls - had experienced life together. And they do experience life together, even though they haven’t lived in the same place for almost three years.
There are so many reasons why I am thankful for my sister. But one of those reasons is that, even from far away, she, along with her husband and three girls, have pursued and loved us well. They want to experience life with us, even though we live on opposite sides of the world. And they work to make that happen. They initiate Skype calls with us, they send us letters and packages, they seek to know my children and be known by them, they ask us questions about our life over here and tell us about their lives over there. They give up their family vacation so that my sister and niece could visit us and encourage our hearts and bring us great joy through their presence. I cannot tell you how greatly the Lord has used this family in our lives. They have been more than a sister and brother, more than an aunt and uncle and cousins to my kiddos. They are true friends.
Sometimes, when you live overseas, it is easy to feel forgotten. You feel like the child in the back of the class, waving your hand around like a crazy person, hoping to be noticed. You feel needy, painfully so. You send out emails to 300 people and hear back from 10. You initiate Skype calls and send text messages, and sometimes you wonder if you’re that guy who keeps calling the girl who really doesn’t want to be called. You wonder who your friends are, you wonder if anyone cares or remembers you, you post on Facebook to remind the world that you’re still here so please don’t forget me! There are weeks of contentment, praise God. But there are days of overwhelming loneliness. And in circumstances like ours, in which there are no other like-minded women for me to talk to except those who live on the other side of the world, those days can be hard and the despair of loneliness becomes very real and very near.
But then a friend will send me a text message, out-of-the-blue, wondering how I’m doing. And another friend will email us with a story or an update or a reminder that they’re praying for us. And my sister and brother-in-law will call with their girls, and our families will laugh and talk about nothing and everything. And I am reminded, by the sweetness of the Lord, that we are indeed not forgotten.
Yes…by some friends and family members, we are a distant memory, thought of only on rare occasions. And yes…we are largely forgotten by the masses of previous association, and in many cases, the old phrase “out of sight, out of mind” rings loud and true.
But that’s ok. We are not forgotten by all. And we praise God for these dear ones the Lord has placed in our lives. These are the people who are our true family, our true friends. Those who have pursued us and loved us and prayed for us and who desire to share life with us…these are the people who help us do what we do, who uplift our hearts and help us persevere, who encourage and challenge us and allow us to encourage and challenge them. These are the people who are used by God to satisfy the lonely places of our hearts, and these are the people who point us to Christ, the only One who can truly and fully satisfy.
Long-distance relationships are difficult. They require effort and sacrifice. But we are so thankful for those who have considered our family worth all the challenges and inconvenience. We are thankful to have dear friends and family who pursue us and love us, even from afar.
Our girls miss their cousins because they know their cousins. These four girls are best friends. And when we return home in a year, they will play happily together as if they had never been apart. Because in a way, they never have been. I feel the same way about all of you who have considered our friendship worth fighting for. I am so thankful that we continue to walk through this life together and share experiences of tears and laughter and hope. When we see each other again, it will be as if we had never been apart.
And that is a gift.
So thank you, friends. You know who you are. And I love you dearly.
This makes me want to hug you and also take out loans to send you loads of random stuff from Target.
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